Week 3 || Day 4
PRAYER FOCUS: WIDOWS/ORPHANS
When it comes to the church, God has been clear that we are called to care for the widows and orphans among us.
While the two groups (and even the individuals within each group!) are vastly different in many respects - their personalities, challenges, financial status, and demographics - many of their basic needs are the same.
Here are 6 areas of prayer for widows and orphans:
Deliverance from Shame - Many widows and orphans feel blame for their positions. They may experience deep shame that doesn’t belong to them at the loss of their spouse/parents. As we’re praying for widows and orphans, we pray that God would continue to show them the truth of his Word - that “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.” (Romans 8:1-2)
Provision - Often widows and orphans are more at risk financially. One aspect of the 1st century church that was so appealing to outsiders was how they cared for all of their members. While other religions were mainly expected to give to the temples of their Gods - the Christian faith commanded that the body of believers care for each other as well, so there would be no need. God has promised to meet the deepest needs of widows and orphans - and one major way He does that is through the community of saints - other Christians! As we pray for widows and orphans to find provision (through skills, careers, etc.) we also must keep our eyes and ears open to practical needs that we can fulfill, both as individuals and as the church.
“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
Freedom from Rejection - Widows and orphans are often left to find a new place in their worlds. What has always been known to them slips away and there may be a void to how they sense their “belonging.” Belonging is a strong longing of every heart, so as a church it is vital for us to surround our friends who have lost their dear ones and envelope them in a community that welcomes them in and cherishes them. As Hebrews 13:5 states - “I will never desert you, nor will I every forsake you.” The church must act as Christ’s representative here on Earth and rally around the widows and orphans in our midst. God has also promised that He “sets the lonely in families.” (Psalm 68:6 NIV) One “family” that they are set in is the Church.
Peace - Fear can disguise itself as a friend to those who are hurting and have lost loved ones. It attempts to steal the future by highlighting the past. But fear is something we are to stand against. In the New Testament, we read the words “one another” 100 times. This is a powerful concept because often those who are in a thriving season of life can stand in for those who are hurting and remind “one another,” encourage “one another, “ pray for “one another,” in ways that the mourning are unable to do on their own. As we read through the Bible, it is clear to see that God’s message on the brink of any new undertaking is “Do not fear!” As we pray over the widows and orphans in our congregation - and across the world! - be sure to pray against any fear they may be facing.
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27)
Protection - Psalm 68:5 tells us that God is “a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows.” (NIV) Those who have lost parents and husbands require protection - emotionally, physically, and spiritually. God has promised that he is a defender of widows and a father to the fatherless. What do defenders and fathers do? They protect! They wrap loving arms around those they love to keep them safe from harm. We are the hands and feet of Jesus and so we must pray for our widows and orphans and offer protection by being advocates for the needs of our most vulnerable.
Comfort - All who are mourning need to know God is with them. There are often many shattered dreams and numerous levels of disappointments when we lose someone dear to us. God has told us that He is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 1:3 NIV) As those in our midst are navigating their grief, come alongside them - in prayer and action - to comfort them.
Illustration: The following account is from Nancy Guthrie, who has lost two children.
Because my husband David and I have gone through the death of two of our children, and we do a lot of speaking and interacting with grieving people, oftentimes people ask us, “What do I say to someone who has just lost someone, or what do I do?” None of us wants to be that person who says the really stupid thing, or the really insensitive thing.
The first thing I would say to someone when you’re trying to figure out what to do in regard to someone who’s going through grief is, “Say something.” Let’s face it, it’s awkward sometimes to know exactly what to say, and we have the sense in which we want to say something that’s meaningful, maybe even memorable, compassionate. But the truth is, when you’re going through grief, you don’t need people to say something that’s any of those things. You just really want a sense that they’re with you in it, that they want to be with you in it. People in grief want to know that others are, in a sense, carrying some of the sorrow that they are experiencing — just by the fact that others express that they care.
So often one of the best things to say is, “I don’t know what to say.” When you say to a grieving person, “I don’t know what to say,” in a sense it shows respect for their loss, as if I don’t presume to have an easy right answer, something to say that’s going to fix this. And so that’s a good thing,
Or just to say, “I’m so sad.” Sometimes we tend to think that someone who’s going through grief, that their sadness is a problem. And we want them to get through that sadness to being happy again — or back to some sense of normal — and yet it makes sense when you’ve lost someone you love, that you be sad.
And so to interact with someone, anticipating that they would be sad, and then expressing, “I am sad with you.” I mean, grief is a very lonely experience. You know, even if all your friends are there for you in the best way possible — your spouse is there for you, all of those things — the essence of grief is a deep, pervasive loneliness. And it means so much for people around us to overcome the awkwardness — and maybe even the desire and fears that I’ll say the wrong thing — to say something. Honestly, the most painful thing is when you’ve had a loss and someone around you—because of the awkwardness — never acknowledges it. That’s what hurts the most. Because what it says to you is that person you love who died doesn’t even really merit a mention. And that’s devastating.
I think another thing that keeps us from saying something to someone who has lost someone is that we think to ourselves something like, “Well, lots of other people are saying something to that person, and so they won’t even notice if I never acknowledged it.”
But here’s the truth. When you’ve gone through the loss of a loved one, it’s almost as if there is a barrier put up between you and every person in your world. And it’s not until that person acknowledges your loss that that barrier comes down. And it doesn’t have to be anything brilliant.
And sometimes it can even be wordless. I can think of times when I was going through grief when someone just came next to me and squeezed my hand or gave me even a knowing look, with that sense of, “I know what’s going on, and I’m sad and I’m in a sense speechless.”
And then one of the really beautiful things some people did was actually weep in my presence. And I know that sounds awkward for some people — I think especially men. I know for my husband, he wouldn’t say, “Wow, I was really hoping people would come and cry with me.” That wasn’t the form his grief took.
But for many of us, when you’re carrying this huge load of sorrow and you look up, and you see someone who is shedding tears — that they are so identifying with your loss that they are in a sense carrying some of the load of sorrow for you — that’s an incredible gift to give to someone who’s grieving.
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Kids SEEK, too!
Note to caretakers: Loss can be a difficult thing to navigate in conversations with children. Take care to use language that is considerate of the child’s age. Using language with words like “sad” or “lonely” can go a long ways to explaining the hurt to a child. Also highlight that there is hope - even when things seem scary or uncertain! God is a redeemer - He loves to restore what has been lost!
Kids’ Illustration: Things looked bleak for the children of George Muller's orphanage at Ashley Downs in England. It was time for breakfast, and there was no food. A small girl whose father was a close friend of Muller was visiting in the home. Muller took her hand and said, "Come and see what our Father will do." In the dining room, long tables were set with empty plates and empty mugs. Not only was there no food in the kitchen, but there was no money in the home's account. Muller prayed, "Dear Father, we thank Thee for what Thou art going to give us to eat." Immediately, they heard a knock at the door. When they opened it, there stood the local baker. "Mr. Muller," he said, "I couldn't sleep last night. Somehow I felt you had no bread for breakfast, so I got up at 2 o'clock and baked fresh bread. Here it is." Muller thanked him and gave praise to God. Soon, a second knock was heard. It was the milkman. His cart had broken down in front of the orphanage. He said he would like to give the children the milk so he could empty the cart and repair it. - source unknown
God knows all about things that we may be uncertain about. He knows our challenges and He wants us to be praying about them!
Kids’ Activities for Today’s Prayer Focus:
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Bible:
“He is a father to the fatherless and an advocate for widows. God rules from his holy palace.” (Psalm 68:5 NET)
“You must not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict them in any way and they cry to me, I will surely hear their cry, and my anger will burn and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives will be widows and your children will be fatherless.” (Exodus 22:22-24 NET)
“Learn to do what is right! Promote justice! Give the oppressed reason to celebrate! Take up the cause of the orphan! Defend the rights of the widow!” (Isaiah 1:17 NET)
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Quote for Today:
“God is pleased with no music below so much as the thanksgiving songs of relieved widows and supported orphans; of rejoicing, comforted, and thankful persons.” - Jeremy Taylor
“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” - Margaret Mead
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Points to Ponder:
While it may seem uncomfortable to ask about the individuals who have passed away in the lives of those we love, it is often a great comfort to talk about dear memories or times they laughed.
Sitting with those who are hurting is a wonderful way to show you care.
Consider sponsoring a child - or start with praying for orphans and children around the world!
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CLOSING PRAYER: Heavenly Father, we thank you that you have told us that you are a “stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9) We ask that you would continue to be what you have said in the lives of all of the widows and orphans in our midst and in our world. Hosea 14:3 tells us that in you “the orphan finds mercy.” Father, we ask that that mercy would be evident in the lives of each orphan as they seek You. Deuteronomy 10:18 tells us that You “execute justice for the fatherless and the widow.” Come forth and execute justice for those who are in mourning. We also know that John 14:18 offers Your promise that you “will not leave [us] as orphans; [You] will come to [us].” Father, we pray in the name of Jesus, that you would continue to be with those who are hurting at the loss of loved ones - comfort them, provide for them, wrap them in your Love - and instruct us on how to do the same. Amen.
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